Apr
14
Goodness Amidst the Crap
Filed Under Life
I feel like for the past month I’ve been walking around in a half daze. I’m always tired. When I wake up in the morning, I long for the night so I can go back to bed. Whenever anyone asks how I am my response is always the same, “Tired.”
It has been a hard month. Losing someone so unexpectedly hurts. There’s a lyric from a Megadeth song (yes, I have some Megadeth cds) that says, “You know the sleeping feel no more pain, and the living all are scarred.” Jasmine feels no more pain, no more sorrow, yet those of us left behind, those of us still living, feel the pain. We carry the scars daily.
When Jaz first went missing, I clung to a verse – “Out of the depths I cry to you, Lord; Lord, hear my voice. Let your ears be attentive to my cry for mercy.” – Psalm 130:1-2. He heard my cry and He has been attentive to me. He has taken care of me…not in ways I expected or thought, but He has cared for me. Isaiah 40:11 says, “He tends his flock like a shepherd; He gathers the lambs in his arms and carries them close to his heart;” My shepherd has been carrying me.
After Jaz’s death, I my whole focus was turned to the team and myself. Belgium planning was put on the back burner. But even though I was not putting in the work for the details of logistics and recruiting, things were getting done. My roster was filling up and pieces were falling into place. On one of my worst days this week, I got an email that made me smile and praise God. I found out there’s a pole vault team in Leuven…we’re taking 4 pole vaulters. And they may be able to help with transportation (my biggest worry).
I feel like God was saying, “You take care of what you need to. You focus on your team and yourself. I will take care of Belgium.” The past month I’ve been swimming in this pool of grief, stress and crap, but God has shown me glimpses of goodness. My motto as of late has been “There is always goodness amidst the crap.”
As hard and as difficult life is and situations are, there is always goodness, because there is always God.
Mar
2
Southern Travels
Filed Under AIA Track & Field Ministry, Life
With my job, we need athletes to come and travel with us. We set up a goal to visit and have team meetings with 50 schools. Contrary to what we want to believe, not everyone has heard of Athletes in Action (such a shocker there!) So with four of us in the office, this means we each are shooting for 12.5 schools. Each of us has our own “territory” to go and recruit. Mine is, of course, the south. This year I decided to expand my trip and hit up more schools and instead of flying into Birmingham, get a rental car (or in this case…truck) and just drive.
I really don’t mind driving. Actually, it was something I definitely needed. With coaching on top of all my other responsibilities, I have a tendency to run myself ragged and the past few weeks were showing that (that and my bad timing call to give up coffee). I needed time to spend with just Jesus. I needed time to think, to pray, to be. I’m taking this time to memorize the 4 Spiritual Laws (currently still stuck on Law 2, which states that man is sinful…I need to hurry up and get to the good stuff!) Immersing myself in who He is and in His promises has been such a blessing. It’s a comfort to know I don’t have to be perfect (and actually will never be) and I don’t have to have all the answers. I just need to have Jesus.
So far I have visited 6 different schools, spoken to about 250 athletes (maybe more, I’m horrible at guestimating numbers) and probably around 10 coaches, attended 2 weekly AIA campus meetings at 2 different schools, met tons of new people, stayed at a few strangers’ houses, caught up with old friends, played with kids and have been working on my tan 
I love the south. For many reasons…the food, the people, the accent, the phrases… This place will always have a special place in my heart and I look forward to returning at least once a year!
Feb
16
Conniving Caffeine
Filed Under Life
I was never a big coffee drinker. Even the smell of it made me just want to gag (such a teenage phrase!) But over the past few years I grew from a non-coffee drinker to a cup of coffee a day drinker. It was a slow process. While I was home in MN raising support, I made Caribou my office. I wasn’t a huge fan of their chai tea so I decided to branch out…slowly. My drink of choice, which is still to this day, a Turtle Mocha with no whip cream. Initially I would always get one shot less of espresso than what originally is put in. My barista knew me and knew my drink. Medium Turtle with one shot and no whip.
As time went by, days I was really tired, I opted for both shots. “Medium Turtle, no whip.” But I was still not a coffee drinker.
I moved to Ohio and I started going to Tim Horton’s and getting their vanilla cappuccino every so often. Our baseball director would always joke with me (real shocker there) about drinking coffee. But I was not a coffee drinker because I had to get the “foo-foo” drinks.
Last August we had a new staff and intern conference here in Xenia, which meant late nights and early mornings. And free coffee. I figured it was free so I would experiment and try to “doctor” it up so I wouldn’t taste the “coffee” in my coffee. I fell in love with the Keurig butter toffee flavored coffee with hazelnut creamer. A few weeks ago I realized I was drinking a cup every day. Not that it’s an awful thing, but how did I get there?
So I decided that I didn’t need it. It was just something I wanted. I only had one cup a day, so I wasn’t addicted.
So I thought.
Last week was a rough week. Not only was it the worst week to cut coffee out of my diet due to my schedule, I didn’t realize that I was in fact addicted. A friend passed on a website that has information about Caffeine Withdrawal. Holy cow, I was experiencing many of the symptoms. I was irritable, tired, I had a ginormous headache and I felt like passing out or throwing up whenever I worked out. Unbelievable.
How did I get from being a non-coffee drinker to a cup-a-day-sometimes-more coffee drinker? The simple answer is slowly. Slowly over time, my body became accustomed to the caffeine and it wanted more. It needed it every day to function “normally.” This is so much like sin. A huge affair doesn’t happen over night. It starts small and slowly grows into something that cannot be contained. You grow into a person you don’t recognize. You look into a mirror and say to yourself, “How did I get here?”
Satan is crafty. He’s conniving. God said to Cain, “If you do what is right, will you not be accepted? But if you do not do what is right, sin is crouching at your door; it desires to have you, but you must rule over it” (Genesis 4:7). James tells us that “Temptation comes from our own desires, which entice us and drag us away. These desires give birth to sinful actions. And when sin is allowed to grow, it gives birth to death” (James 1:14-15). Sin is crouching. It’s hiding. It’s waiting for the opportune moment to pounce. It entices and then drags us away. It’s like Satan is setting a trap. It looks all glamorous and glorious. At first, it’s not a big deal, but before we know it, we’re wrapped up into something we never thought we would be involved with. This is why we need our Band of Sisters. We need them to see the slippery slope we’ve stumbled upon when we don’t even realize we’re on it. Sometimes we need them to pull us off the slope onto solid ground (2 Timothy 2:19).
Be careful of sin. It is everywhere. It is enticing. It is waiting.
Feb
2
Super Bowl Weekend = Not All Glamorous
Filed Under Life
When you hear the phrase, “human trafficking,” what do you think of? Are you like me who had a tainted view of this subject? I always pictured some far away country, dirty, smoky, drugs constantly being consumed and thousands of dollars being exchanged by dirty, evil men. While in the corner cowers a little child about to have her world ripped a part, if not already.
Unfortunately, this is partially true. Within our fallen world, there is so much evil and in this case, it is not an exception. Over the past few months, I’ve been learning more and more about this sickness that affects millions of people throughout the world.
Our world has a multi-billion dollar sex industry. Look at our movies we watch, our music we listen to and our clothes we wear. There is a huge demand for sex. It’s a great market to profit in. Isn’t that basic economics? (I’m not sure, I never took the class). Go where the demand is high and supply what is demanded? Be the savior and give to the “needy” while taking their money and making huge profits? “The U.N. and other experts estimate the total market value of illicit human trafficking at $32 billion-about $10 billion is derived from the initial “sale” of individuals, with the remainder representing the estimated profits from the activities or goods produced by the victims of this barbaric crime” (UNODC). *
But at what cost? The cost of forcing young children into a hellish nightmare with no hope of escape. Ripping away their childhood and scarring them for the rest of their lives. The average age of entry for girls and boys ranges from 11-14.
This nightmare is not in some third world, poverty stricken country. This nightmare is here.
The US State Department estimates that approximately 14,500 to 17,500 men, women and children are trafficked into the Unites States annually. *
“Trafficking occurs in major cities such as Dallas, Baltimore, Atlanta, El Paso, San Diego, Los Angeles, Miami and New York City. It also occurs in Minneapolis, Toledo, and Tampa to name a few.” **
Dallas. Blessed to be in a state with thousands of miles of borders and a major highway system. Easy transport in and through. Dallas. Where the Super Bowl will be held this weekend. What better place to profit? Thousands of new “clients” will be coming in. According to USAtoday.com, the Super Bowl is “commonly known as the single largest human trafficking incident in the United States.”
I can’t help but to imagine…that with all those football players, those coaches, the personnel, the sponsors, the fans, even our own AIA staff…as all of these people roll into Dallas…how many thousands of young children are rolling into Dallas against their will?
Human trafficking is a form of slavery. It’s about power. It’s about making someone feel they have no option but to do what you ask of them. I received a book from my friend titled The Slave Across the Street: The True Story of How an American Teen Survived the World of Human Trafficking by Theresa L. Flores. It is about an American teenager who, for two years, while she was living in her parent’s Detroit home, was forced into sexual slavery. How? Why? Questions that entered my head before I read. But there was a part at the end of her book that helped to explain:
“Would anyone have believed me if I told my secret? Even now, the truth seems unbelievable for a girl in an upper class suburb in the United States. The important thing to know is that I felt I couldn’t tell anyone. I was terrified of the consequences. I believed I had no options. No choice. No Free will. That is why it is called slavery. I was brainwashed, confident that no one would believe my story if I told. Reduced to nothing inside, I was convinced that the welfare of my beloved family rested solely on my behavior. I was without hope, happiness or future. Left only with shame.” **
As the Super Bowl approaches, as you gather your snacks, as you get your apparel ready…pray. Pray for the people in Dallas partnering to raise awareness of this evil. Pray for the “clients” that they see the evilness for what their actions truly are. And pray for those who are subjected to slavery and endure a nightmare no one should ever have to live through.
[For more information and statistics, visit: Love 146; Not for Sale; Free the Slaves; International Justice Mission; Grace Haven]
* Taken from The Problem published by love146.org
** Taken from The Slave Across the Street: The True Story of How an American Teen Survived the World of Human Trafficking by Theresa L. Flores
Jan
30
God’s Got My Back
Filed Under Life
“…for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.” – Joshua 1:9
This is one of my favorite verses in the Bible. Perhaps it has something to do with the fact that I have moved a lot in the last 12 years (14 different places, 9 different cities, 4 different states). But it’s comforting to know that wherever I am, so is God. He is always with me and therefore I am never alone. Even when the hard things arise, he is still there by my side. In the most joyous occasion, I bet he’s smiling the biggest.
This past week I saw these words come alive. I do not believe in coincidences. I believe in the providence of God. A week ago today, I went to church, like most Sundays. I went with my friends Michelle, Garrett and Grayson. Afterwards, I was going to shovel the driveway, watch most of the Packers game and then head to our AIA men’s basketball league. As you can clearly see…my car breaking down is no where in that plan. But it was in God’s. I was driving home, got to a stoplight and my car just quit. So there I am on Far Hills Ave, the middle of the road, at a stoplight, with my car not able to start.
Let me back up a wee bit to December when I was home for Christmas. I have no idea how the subject came up or really how the conversation went, but my dad asked me why I don’t have my AAA card in my wallet. Good question. But I had never really needed it, so I guess that’s why. When I got home, I decided I should carry it with me (thanks God #1).
So back at the stoplight…there I’m sitting. I call Garrett. Garrett knows cars (thanks God #2). They were just about the the Greene but were turning around to come to my rescue. As I was calling AAA, a nice stranger pulled up behind me and got out of a car (side note…do people not notice flashers??? You should probably look for them before you honk at a poor person who can’t do anything to move their car out of the road!). This stranger asked me what was going on and I said I couldn’t start it. He said he was going to stop traffic for me and push me out of the road (thanks God #3). We got to a parking lot and he started looking around under the hood. He thought it might be a coupe different things, but wasn’t really sure. Michelle and Garrett pull up and Garrett takes over. He fiddles with things and I call AAA. The lady was super nice (thanks God #4) but apparently I needed to call another branch. She took as much information as she could so she could pass that along and transfered me. Garrett then thinks we can try to get it to Xenia. My car shop is open on Sundays (thanks God #5). The car had started a couple times, so we decided to give it a shot. I got the direct 1-800 number for the Miami-Valley AAA (anyone need it??? might come in handy…thanks God #6). We get onto 675 and ALMOST make it to the next exit and it quits again. I call AAA and say that yup, we really need them. Garrett decided to get into the car and sees if he can do something with the battery connection. He thinks it’s a sensor that’s not working right. Eventually we get it to the next exit into the Target parking lot. AAA will be “within the hour.” Crackle Barrel is right up the road (thanks God #7) so we go to eat. Of course right before the food comes, AAA calls. I get a to-go box for my food (thanks God #8) and head back to my car. The truck wasn’t quite there yet, so I found the Pack game on the radio (thanks God #9)…and they were winning (thanks God #10). The guy then came and picked me up and we headed back to Xenia. I kept seeing cars stalled on the road and told the tow-truck guy that maybe he would have to come back and pick those people up. I dropped my car off and decided to walk home. It’s not far and although it was a little chilly, I felt the walk would do me some good so I didn’t get too wound up. Michelle came back to my house to pick me up to head to the Hardy’s to watch the Pack/Bears game. I walked into a bear den! All Bears fans and I walk in with my Packer mug…and the Pack was still winning (thanks God #11). Clint was able to pick me up and bring me home for the bball league (thanks God #12).
Monday. I finally get a call about my car. The guy says I need a new fuel filter and a valve cover something (I wish I wasn’t so bad with cars…I do now how to change my own oil and headlights, tho!) It’s going to cost a bit, but the guy said it really needed to be done. Now I’ve brought my car to Monro a few times and they’ve always been good to me (thanks God #13). I said to go ahead and get it done. I called Garrett to tell him what they said. He said that would not cause the car to stop. Tell them to check the codes. So now, what in the world am I supposed to do? I called Monro again and said don’t do anything, let me think and call them back. I stopped by and asked to have everything in writing (I’m a visual person). The guy said the check engine light was not on when I brought it in (may have been wiped out when Garrett messed with the battery) so he was unable to diagnose what the issue was with that. Then I asked…”Had yesterday never happened, I need to get this done anyway.” And he said yes. Note to self…get tune ups. So they’re able to get it done that night (thanks God #14), but this looming feeling was still overhead that the real issue is not fixed.
Wednesday. I drove to the Dayton airport to pick up a friend. I called Michelle on my way out and she said they’re leaving for Dallas Friday. Of course I offered to drive them to the airport. She said I can use their car when they’re gone until my car gets back (thanks God #15). Clearly I hadn’t told her I already had it back. She said to be careful because the same thing happened with their Volvo. They thought it was fixed, but it really wasn’t. I thought it would be good to bring it in to someone else to look at the sensors, then I could borrow their car while they were gone. I pick up Joy and on our way back to Xenia, the car shakes a bit, but doesn’t stall (thanks God #16). I know I need to bring it in again.
Friday. I bring Garrett, Michelle and Grayson to the airport in Columbus (in their car) and on my way home, picked up my car and was so looking forward to a nap. It had been quite a long day. I get about 2 blocks from home. The car decides to act up again. It stalls out and coasts, but doesn’t quite quit…twice. I get to a stoplight and poof. It turns off. I wanted to cry. Flashers go back on and I hang my head. Nicole, my roommate “just happens” to be coming home at that time and pulls up behind me (thanks God #17). She asks if I want her to push her off the road and she does (thanks God #18). I call Monro again and talk to the guy who worked on my car in the first place (thanks God #19). I actually said, “Remember the issue I brought my car in for the first time? Well, it just did it again.” He says to NOT touch the battery…check engine light was on again (thanks God #20). He asked if I could drive it to the shop, but I was afraid it was going to quit again, so he was going to come find me and follow me back (thanks God #21).
We get it to the shop, he hooks up his little gadget and lo and behold…a sensor had gone out, but now he was able to actually diagnose it. But lucky me, I have 2 that need to be changed. The crank shaft position sensor. Of course Garrett was happy cause he was right. They were able to get the parts in the next day and get it fixed. The guy kind of felt bad for me since just paid a nice penny a few days ago and asked the boss man to knock down the price a bit for me (thanks God #22).
Well I had to be up early Saturday morning (4:30am) and Nicole let me borrow her car (thanks God #23) and our friend Erin let Nicole borrow her car (thanks God #24).
My car is now fixed and running smoothly (thanks God #25) and I will be picking it up today (thanks God #26). I am so grateful for all the people God placed in my life this week and all the prayers for a healthy car (thanks God #27). I am truly blessed (thanks God #infinity!)
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